Benefit of Kid’s Rock Band – Developing Self-Esteem Through Cooperation

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    By: School of Rock

    According to Dr. Kenneth Pelletier of the Stanford Center for Research and Disease Prevention, the desire to belong is as “basic a human need as food and shelter.”  Is it any wonder, then, that our kids who don’t like math club, sports or marching band sometimes flounder in pursuit of finding their niche? 

    If your child’s social needs aren’t served within their school you need to help them find a social circle because without a group to call their own, their self esteem declines.  That once happy child you had becomes depressed. The active child becomes lethargic and begins poor eating habits.  The curious child doesn’t want to try new things.  He or she isn’t fun to be around anymore and friends start to fade away, one at a time.  Grades begin to decline and a sense of hopelessness takes over. 

     A healthy self esteem is developed when a child is allowed to try, fail, try again and succeed; all in the confines of a community that supports him at every stage.  The development of self esteem is a combination of achievement and feeling loved.  Nemours, a leading pediatric health system, explains it this way, “A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem comes when the right balance is reached.”

    One way you can help is by encouraging him to try new things. So what if he doesn’t want to play football again? How about snowboarding instead? If you say, “I’m not going to buy you a snowboard because I know it’ll sit in the basement with the hockey gear you don’t use anymore,” you are contributing to the problem.  It’s frustrating to dole out money on what looks like nothing more than a mild curiosity about different activities. However, it might not be just a mild curiosity. Your child may really be struggling with self esteem. Other than  trying different things and hoping he likes one, he doesn’t know what to do.  Praise him for trying these different activities.  Imagine the well-rounded individual he is becoming by having all of these experiences.  

    Then, help her find activities that don’t have winners and losers.  Find activities that only have winners.  Playing in a rock band is such an activity.  So is an art club or a photography club.  Be generous, but not false, with your praise and affection.  When she shows you his close-up photo of a dead spider, don’t respond, “Why would you take a picture of that?” Instead say, “That’s a really unique shot.  What made you think of shooting that?” and, “I think your creative-thinking is terrific!”

    The bottom line: activities for children with low self-esteem need to be activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition.

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